


you're all i need (i'm falling for you)

by virescentily



Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fluff, M/M, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, and 'but why does it hurt so much', and 'it's not real they're pretending', but he's got game, but it's kinda not, cue in lots of angst, eliott is an oblivious idiot, fake dating is his idea, god these tags are a mess, i'd love to say it's a meetcute, it's a long time coming but.., so is lucas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-27
Updated: 2020-03-19
Packaged: 2021-02-26 01:01:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,663
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21984874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/virescentily/pseuds/virescentily
Summary: maybe the boy's brain has also short-circuited, maybe his nervous coordination has some flaws, because eliott was expecting a punch, even a slap would have been fine, as the tiny body jumps at him when he's a few millimetres away from eliott.but there are warm lips pressing at his in a hurry instead of a fist meeting his jaw. and there are small hands wrapping around his shoulders instead of a kick in his stomach.or, lucas is in trouble, and eliott's at the wrong place at the right time(au, fake dating)
Relationships: Eliott Demaury/Lucas Lallemant
Comments: 33
Kudos: 149





	1. part i

**Author's Note:**

> gays, gals and non binary pals, may i present to you this mess of a fake dating fic which i hope to do justice. 
> 
> hope you enjoy. title of the fic is from "fallingforyou" by the 1975.

"eliott, that's hideous." 

eliott looks at the swirly mixture in his hands, the green washed to a faint blue by the glimmering light reflecting from the ceiling. 

"it looks like that, but it tastes just fine," he says, tasting the terrible looking concoction idriss made for him; a mix of one part alcohol and three parts of whatever non-alcoholic liquid idriss found in his fridge. it was idriss's attempt of toning down the alcohol for eliott. because he didn't want eliott to feel left out. and because he had a mind of his own. also because he didn't listen to a bit of eliott's reassurance about him being fine, really.

sofiane's still looking disgusted when eliott starts taking small sips of the not so bad tasting drink. there's a frown on his face, a look which makes eliott cackles out, "no, seriously mate, this looks worse than it tastes. here, try some out."

"no thanks," sofiane grimaces, a yellow light dancing on his face, eliott's drink now resembling a water pond with algae, "i'm good with my pepsi."

sofiane looks like he might vomit any second now, so eliott stops teasing him. the music around him increases in loudness, the bass from the speaker travelling through the pretty hardwood floor and reaching him in pulsing vibrations. sofiane sits on the staircase behind them, bringing the can of pepsi up to his mouth.

"these stupid lights are giving me a headache," he muses, handing eliott his can, "hold this for me please. i'm gonna make a quick run to the, uh- bathroom."

eliott narrows his eyes, suspicion floating through his system like his blood. sofiane had been to the bathroom like fifteen minutes ago, but the more eliott thought about it, the more he understood what sofiane was trying to hide.

"i actually saw imane going outside, not to the bathroom. but, you do you man."

eliott laughs when sofiane turns all grumpy, like someone just threatened to steal all of his snacks he keeps stacked under the floorboard in his room, "fuck you, man. oh and if idriss asked-"

"-yeah, yeah. you went to the bathroom."

eliott is the only one who knows about sofiane's crush on imane thanks to the night sofiane got super drunk and spilled all of his secrets to eliott. idriss was out that night, and since then, sofiane has sworn not to drink again, incase he slips and spills his secrets to idriss. eliott hasn't let sofiane forget that, and though he knows eliott means no harm, it still leaves sofiane all grumpy and pissed off whenever eliott does as much as mention that fateful night.

sofiane gets up and makes his way outside, not to the bathroom, leaving eliott with an empty can of pepsi and still the half filled glass of his green liquid, which now resembled vomit under the yellow light. he starts moving too, attempting to find the actual bathroom. it's a new years party, thrown by one of imane's friend which eliott has neither heard of nor met before, but idriss was excited to come because free booze, and sofiane was excited because imane. and then they coaxed eliott - coaxed, the both would say, while eliott likes to think he was guilt tripped. so naturally, eliott had agreed. and now he stands in a stranger's house - trying to navigate his way through a narrow and dark corridor, a home to bodies grinding and passionately making out, covered by the darkness.

eliott pushes his way through them, finally locating a wooden door with a paper sign reading bathroom in a sloppy handwriting. a sigh of relief pushes past his lips, the music dulled to a faint thud, like his heartbeat.

eliott turns the knob, but the door doesn't budge. just his luck. 

"another make out session going on perhaps," he thinks, out loud, resting his back agains the door. first he was forced to come to this party, now he's being forced to hold in his pee, too. not only will this put a pressure on his kidneys, but his bladder might burst. all thanks to some people who can't hold it in their pants. great night.

eliott's skimming over the thoughts in his head, the dark corridor hiding his body like it's hiding the others pinned against the walls. the music's a soft beat now, but it's loud enough to shield eliott's ears from the sounds coming from the said bodies.

but it's not loud enough. because he's hearing other things. two voices. one deeper and one ultimately softer. in an argument, and probably not too far from him.

and he doesn't mean to listen - the way his ears tune to the sound and his body moves forward so as to listen better has nothing to do with it, okay? - eliott doesn't mean to, but the voices grow louder, so he does.

"....you're being stubborn." the deeper voice says. eliott turns the statement in his head. _stop being stubborn._

"oh for god sake!!" the softer one of the voices says, but it's raised so much that eliott feels it sending shivers down his spine. he should have worn his sweater, "stop using the same argument! it's not me who's stubborn, it's you! your thick head! because you're not getting what i'm saying. what we had has ended! it's over!"

eliott had never heard this degree of malice in any voice before. except for- well, even if he's heard a voice with this much malice, he's never heard someone this angry. and even though he's not at the receiving end of the voice, it still makes him cower under the dark, leaning more on the door behind him, which still won't budge open.

"no, lucas, stop!" the deeper voice shouts, and lucas - the bearer of the soft voice and angry tone - doesn't say a word. it's silent for a few seconds - eliott's disappointed because he was really into the drama unintentionally - but then there are loud footsteps in the dark, and eliott, being the cursed person he is, keeps standing as if his feet have glued themselves on the ground.

eliott doesn't have a brain, he concludes. it's gone on a vacation, because there's a boy appearing out of the dark, probably one of the two people having an argument - and he's stopping in his tracks, looking at eliott leaning against the bathroom door. maybe he's putting two and two together, finding eliott listening into his and the other person's argument.

if the door to the bathroom had opened right at this moment, causing eliott to fall straight back, bump his head and lose the remaining sanity he had, he would have been eternally grateful. but no, the universe chooses that exact moment to take its revenge on eliott for whatever harm he had done to it.

the boy's tiny, is the first thing that rushes through his mind. not that he's in danger, not that he's been caught eavesdropping to a conversation that wasn't his to hear, and certainly not that the boy looks pissed.

"lucas wait!"

so that's lucas, bearer of soft voice. and, fucking hell, if he could make eliott scared just listening to his voice behind his back, it's anyone's game to imagine what he could do now face to face with eliott.

there are other footsteps approaching, and lucas is looking over his shoulder. eliott's fucking terrified, and with the time it takes for eliott's upper and lower lashes to meet together, lucas is moving towards him - charging at him - and eliott's fucking brain, short-circuited, from the minute he was born, cements eliott's whole body against the bathroom door.

"lucas!"

and then - eliott can say he's dreaming. maybe the boy's brain has also short-circuited, maybe his nervous coordination has some flaws, because eliott was expecting a punch, even a slap would have been fine, as the tiny body jumps at him when it is a few millimetres away from eliott.

but there are warm lips pressing at his in a hurry instead of a fist meeting his jaw. and there are small hands wrapping around his shoulders instead of a kick in his stomach.

yes, the boy definitely has got things wrong. 

eliott's initial reaction is of shock. pure, unadulterated shock. maybe it has something to do with the reason that his brain stops working as soon as it hits five on the clock. (yes, his brain works from nine to five, daily, with a banner displaying 'working hours closed, come back tomorrow' for the matters happening after five and before nine.)

eliott feels his heart in his throat, warmth on his face as all of the blood rushes from his body to his cheeks. but then the boy's desperate hands are clawing at the baby hair on eliott's neck, drawing him down, and the boy's kissing him more deeply than before when eliott bends down.

"lucas?"

the boy pulls away as the voice eliott labelled as the deeper one appears in the air around the two. there stands a guy, physically leaner but smaller than eliott, definitely taller than the boy - lucas - who just had eliott in a lip lock. and now has his hands wrapped around eliott's waist, his head resting on the space below eliott's collarbones, long hair tickling his bare neck.

he should have worn his sweater.

the other guy shoots eliott a hurried glance, but eliott doesn't miss the anger in his eyes. there's a small squeeze around his waist, and as the tickling sensation ticks in, eliott places a hand on the boy's arm, confused to a t, but apparently it's what the boy wanted, since he nuzzles his face in eliott's chest.

eliott's worried for the boy's ears, since his heart is playing fucking dubstep with its beat.

"what are you doing lucas?"

 _yes,_ eliott nearly shouts, good question. _what the hell are you doing lucas?!_

lucas looks at the other guy, and eliott feels rather than hears lucas's voice, "like i was telling you, i have a boyfriend, benjamin. this is him."

wait, what?! eliott looks down at the tiny boy with wide eyes, but he's looking up at him with a huge smile, and his eyes - it's pretty dark to tell their colour - but they are fucking gorgeous.

"babe," lucas's voice is incredibly soft as he peers up at eliott. his eyes seem to be communicating something to him, same as eliott's eyes are asking lucas's what the hell is he doing? "this is benjamin. i think i mentioned him once."

and benjamin makes a deathly sound in his throat. eliott gets something, like a puzzle falling into piece. ahh. he clears his throat, now moving his other hand and splaying in across lucas's back, the one around his arm falling limply. 

"i think you did," eliott speaks with so much surety it's even a surprise to his own ears after the initial bout of surprise rendering him dumb, "i'm eliott, lucas's boyfriend."

eliott doesn't know why he says that, and he doesn't know why he can not push away the small body clinging to his front like a baby kangaroo. but he knows it's what lucas wanted him to do, without even communicating through words.

weird stuff right there.

eliott doesn't miss the way anger starts burning in the other guy's eyes like a log of wood set to fire. it seems to be consuming him, and when eliott thinks he might get the punch he was expecting earlier, benjamin grumbles, starting to leave, purposely pushing his shoulder against eliott's.

"this isn't over."

eliott watches, breath caught somewhere between his trachea and lungs, as benjamin stumbles away into the dark. he waits a total of three seconds, waits for the resonating footsteps of benjamin's shoes to fade, before he's inhaling deeply, digging his fingers in the material of lucas's shirt, pushing him away with a force that it leaves him without any breath.

"what the actual hell!" eliott has never been this confused before - especially not while waiting on the bathroom door to unlock, and holding in his pee. lucas stumbles back a little and eliott almost feels bad. almost. but the guilt is quickly replaced by anger bubbling through his veins.

"sorry- oh god," lucas stutters out, shaking his head rapidly. his voice has grown softer, despite it being laced with so much emotion, "i'm really sorry- fuck. i- i-" lucas gulps down his words, looking at eliott with those eyes he still doesn't know the colour of. eliott can see them being covered with a thin sheen of something glimmering in the dark.

eliott stays silent, hands crossed over his chest. lucas inhales deeply, gnawing over his bottom lip and looking anywhere but at him, "i was in a crisis," he mumbles, at which eliott scoffs. no crises should result in what it resulted in less than five minutes ago.

"no, listen, i really was," lucas takes a step forward, making eliott take a step backwards into the door. he doesn't trust that guy around him. lucas notices that, and stops in his tracks.

lucas huffs out a breath, pinching the bridge of his nose, "that guy- benjamin - he's -he's an ex, okay? and he wasn't leaving me alone, so i said some shit including how i already have a boyfriend. but he thought i was lying - which i clearly was but he didn't need to know that." lucas rambles on, now pacing in front of eliott. he listens in, curious, "but then i saw you there, and i didn't think, just acted, and did what i did. so please don't be angry at me, i had no other choice."

and by choice eliott really thinks he means no other person to kiss besides eliott. he sighs, rubbing a hand over his face, stomach coiling with nerves, "but that still doesn't warrant you jumping on anyone, let alone me."

"i know," lucas huffs, his tiny figure coming to rest in front of eliott, "i was a dick, i'm really sorry for that. but thank you for saving my ass back there, i could really feel how confused you were."

lucas grins, eyes reduced to slits. eliott can't help but laugh, "shut up, but you're welcome i guess."

"so i'm forgiven? i mean, is everything good between us?"

and eliott doesn't know lucas, has never seen his around before. and he also doesn't think he'll see him again. so eliott nods, heart light and face warm, "yeah."

  
it's not often that eliott is proven wrong about things he says. but now, ten minutes after he was kissed against the bathroom door and told the guy he thought he'd never see before that everything is good, eliott is proven wrong when idriss takes him by the hand over to a someone idriss is dying to introduce eliott to.

"you'll love him," he says, after eliott complains about social interaction because people.

and then he turns around. lucas. and eliott's world starts spinning.

"hey man," idriss envelops him in a hug, ruffling up the same hair which was previously tickling eliott's skin. he quickly drowns the drink idriss has given him when he'd joined the party after that little....incident.

lucas hasn't noticed eliott, it appears, as idriss exchanges a few pleasantries with him. they look close, eliott thinks, like real close. but then idriss turns to eliott, and lucas's eyes follow suit.

they're blue. and they are weirdly lightening up.

"eliott, meet lucas. he's imane's closest friend. lucas, this is eliott."

and eliott doesn't let their previous incident to cross his mind for then idriss will become suspicious. and he's in no shape to explain anything. he nods curtly, idriss looks like he's watching his kid walk for the first time, and lucas looks like he's drained every energy drink he could find.

"hi eliott, nice to meet you."

and then idriss is leaving eliott behind with the tiny devil now known to eliott as one of imane's closest friend. every attempt that eliott makes to convey idriss of his helplessness through his eyes turn to dust as idriss pats him on the back, without looking up.

"hey!" lucas gets his attention, hanging on to the sleeve of his shirt, "i thought you said all was good between us. but you look like you don't want to be in ten miles radius near me."

eliott shakes his head. good observation, "because then i thought i wouldn't be seeing you again!"

lucas's eyes widen, "wait, were you lying then? don't you know that it is morally wrong?"

eliott has to roll his eyes, "you don't have the qualification to tell me that, mr. "i-have-a-boyfriend-and-i'm-kissing-the-first-guy-i-see".

lucas turns red, "fuck off. and here i was thinking of making you an offer."

eliott furrows his eyebrows, "what kind of offer?"

lucas kind of averts his gaze, "ever watched to all the boys i've loved before?"

and eliott's shaking his head rapidly, things clicking into place faster than he would like them to, "no, god, lucas! i don't know what kind of idiot you take me for but i'm definitely not that kind of idiot!"

lucas licks his lips, "hey, hear me out please? you'll be doing me a favour that i desperately need. plus, it'll help you out too."

and eliott looks at him, looks at his wide eyes, the way a sheen glimmers over them. "and how will it help me?"

lucas looks down to the ground, "i'm over at imane's a lot more these days. so i've heard a lot about you from her and idriss. and i kind of overheard idriss and imane talking about your breakup and setting you up- anyways, i thought if i suggested this, it'd help me get benjamin off my back, and it'd help you get them off your back."

eliott knows his friends mean well, yet it still gets kind of suffocating having them breathing down his neck after that fateful incident.

eliott doesn't ask lucas how much he knows, neither does he explain further. he sighs, stomach coming up to his throat, "if i agree," lucas starts jumping, "calm down, i haven't agreed yet. now, if i agree to your plan, what would it entail?"

"oh you know," lucas grins, "just the usual couple-y stuff, without the actual feelings part, since i know we both aren't in the right headspace for a relationship now."

eliott hums, "alright, you have me."

lucas squeals, happiness blinding eliott. eliott's laughing too. and he's realizing lucas has a pretty laugh, "you're an idiot." eliott says when he's calmed down enough to formulate a proper sentence. weirdly enough, he's nervous.

"so what are the rules?"

lucas shakes his head, "i'm not sober enough to discuss them with you now. how about we talk about them tomorrow, over breakfast? it'll be our first fake date, and we'll map everything out from there."

eliott nods as the area around them gets swallowed by bodies when people start making their way into the living room for the countdown into the next year. lucas stands beside him, looking up at the screen hung before them. the music dims to a lull, and eliott feels a hand wrapping around his own.

"hey eliott?" there's a tug at his arm, and eliott's bending down to lucas's level. "i know we agreed to talk things out tomorrow, but i see benjamin right behind you, and our friends are here too. what do you think about planting the first seed of our plan?"

the countdown around them has started, voices raising into the air. eliott nods, albeit a bit hesitant. what story would he tell the boys about why he's suddenly sucking face of someone he's just met while he's been deflecting all of their attempts of setting him up? but he doesn't have a brain, it's common knowledge now. so he nods his head with determination. whatever, he'll come up with a story later.

cheers fill eliott's ear, blood his brain as the screen in front of them displays one - as lucas lips cover his for the second time that night. eliott lets out a groan that he certainly didn't mean to, and lucas hands wrap around his neck like they're meant to.

his nose nudges against lucas's, and lucas angles his face for eliott to press his lips fully against lucas. this time, eliott doesn't stand still, bringing his hands to cup lucas's face, thumb caressing the soft skin of his cheek. eliott bites down on lucas's lip, drawing out a sigh from him. he pulls away slightly, eyes half closed, heart on full alarm mode, before lucas is bringing him down again, wet lips moulding against one another.

a shiver sends itself through the plexus of nerves in eliott's spine. he should have definitely worn his sweater.

lucas pulls back a second later, and eliott's way past the surprise greeting him. lucas licks his lips, resting his forehead against eliott's chin. eliott's hands splay themselves on lucas's back, his hands fisting the material of eliott's jacket tightly.

the world around him is a faint whisper coming from another room.

eliott opens his eyes, lucas's face extremely close to his. the scene they have created registers in his mind slowly, like the way his senses come back to him. and it's then he registers the open-mouthed idriss and sofiane right behind lucas, with idriss holding sofiane for support.

"we've created a scene," eliott mutters to lucas, who looks to his side before hiding his face in eliott's chest.

"and i think we're quite good at it. my friends look real proud of me for some reason," lucas mutters, voice muffled by the muscles in eliott's chest, "i don't even know your last name eliott, but i think i chose the right partner to be my fake boyfriend. you're kinda hot, eliott."

eliott chuckles, now nuzzling his face in lucas's neck. it's a thing couples do. and lucas and him are a couple now, albeit a fake one, but the world doesn't need to know that, "it's demaury. eliott demaury. and i think my fake boyfriend is kinda hot, too. we make a good team."

lucas grins up at him. his eyes are blue under the yellow light.


	2. part ii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happy new year guys! here's to a year filled with love and acceptance for all :))
> 
> please ignore typos if you come across any xx

no measuring instrument can do justice to the times eliott had been left absolutely dumbstruck by the sheer stupidity and idiocy of his friends. it exceeds far beyond the capacity of mankind, and also beyond the line that exists as a barrier separating eliott's sanity and insanity.

there had been a time when idriss had used parchment paper instead of butter paper while making a cake for eliott's birthday, and had set the whole kitchen on fire. or the time sofiane got confused between baking soda and salt and proceeded to add insane amounts of the latter into the pasta he was making. and there was that time too where they both went sledding down the stairs on the lids of garbage cans brought from the nearby garbage disposal. (not only had that been disgusting, but it had also left idriss with a minor crack on his forehead from where he hit his head on the wall, and sofiane with a sprained wrist from where he landed on his hand.)

but these times are not to be compared to those when they both pass the absolute limit of stupidity. like the time when they attempt egging the house belonging to eliott's ex, and almost end up in jail. or - or, like right now, when they end up surpassing the limits eliott thought they never would, and do something which breaks the tiny thread holding eliott's patience together.

"you did what now." it doesn't come out as a question, more like a disappointed remark that's void of all the expectations and merits for his friends.

"we just ah- we thought you were in need of...."

idriss trails off, so does his eyes which have found an interesting spot on the ground. eliott doesn't have the strength in him to shout. lately, he's been stuffed to the brim with pressure from the stress of assignments the start of a new semester have stacked upon his shoulders. 

eliott looks from idriss to sofiane, who's also looking anywhere but at him. they both stand in the doorway of eliott's room, now a living library from the huge amounts of books he has borrowed stacked in there. eliott knows most of them are probably overdue, but he doesn't even have time to breathe. how is he supposed to return them or —

"hey," eliott sighs after the minute of silence is stretched so much that it bounces back like the two ends of an elastic band stretched, "i'm already so much cramped up with these assignments. i literally don't have any free spot on my schedule."

idriss and sofiane look at each other, sharing a look, the chords of their brain connecting together. idriss speaks first, body a respectable distance away from eliott incase he explodes like a balloon filled with too much air, "yeah we know, man. don't think we haven't noticed your nocturnal actions, or your bat face in the morning–"

"—or your panda eyes," sofiane chimes in, leaving him and idriss in a fit of giggles. eliott sighs, turning to the book he was reading about some revolution in history, waiting for his friends to move out of their hysteria induced laughter.

"if you're done," eliott snaps, burying his face further into his notebook, "i'd like to assert that i will not be going."

this has both of them stopping, one inhaling a deep breath and one wiping the smile off his face, "but eliott, lucas will be there too."

yes. lucas. that little devil child ruining eliott's life and then probably chilling in his. now, it's not to say eliott doesn't like lucas. he just has some grudges against him. grudges involving a certain new years party, and a few - two actually, but eliott isn't counting - kisses.

"i don't care who will or won't be there," eliott grumbles out, words from the textbook fading in front of his eyes. his heart is heavy, and face so warm for the january air, "i just don't want to go."

idriss and sofiane don't comment further; idriss moves to sit beside eliott on the bed and sofiane takes his seat on a chair. eliott doesn't look at either of them, and when he feels idriss sigh, he knows he's probably done for.

"c'mon man, you've been holed up in this room since your breakup," idriss says, and in a painful way, eliott remembers lucas and his deal, but idriss doesn't just stop there, "okay, i'll make you an offer," idriss sighs, and eliott almost groans. what's with everyone making eliott an offer? "if you agree to join us, sofiane and i will cover your rent for the next month."

sofiane makes a sound of approval, eliott of indignation. it's quite surprising; the lengths his friends are willing to go to make him spend an afternoon with them. he looks between the two clowns looking at him expectedly, like they are waiting for him to declare he won a lottery or something.

but the prospect of not paying the rent for the next month is too good to refuse.

"okay," the cheers filling his ear are too loud, and so is his heartbeat when he realises what the afternoon might entail.

  
it's a sunny day, the january taking away the cold with it as february nears. it's a day after idriss and sofiane hijacked eliott's plan for the day – plan, he says, when all he's going to do was give his heart more stress, and causing the blood vessels under his eyes to blacken further.

eliott had literature as his final class for the day, at noon, and has the rest of the day free. it's not often that he's saved from the unbearable dread of classes from eight to five, and it's also not often that his classes get miraculously cancelled. and it's how eliott has learned to cherish those days when it happens. so whenever he finds himself free, he holds those moments with special care, looks after them diligently, and makes do with them as much as he can.

today was supposed to be the same. eliott was going to hold today like one of his children, love it like he's got no other. but of course, of course, the stupidity of his friends had to shine for today, overpowering the brightness this day was showing, dimming it till it remains as a little star shining in the sky, far and far away from eliott's grabby hands.

and now he sits behind the cover of a tree broad enough to hide him from the rest of the people he is supposed to hang out with— or, the people idriss and sofiane are forcing him to hang out with. including lucas.

he doesn't know where the two neanderthals have wandered off to. sofiane's probably pining after imane from afar, hiding from idriss's eyes. as for idriss– eliott doesn't know about him. 

so eliott takes a deep breath, sun shining in his eyes when he closes them and leans his back against the rough bark of the tree. he might act like he hates the shit his friends pull up, but he loves them for respecting his boundaries (even when they act like it's physically hurting them). 

"you've got me to come with you guys," eliott had said before they were about to leave, "but don't expect me to socialise much."

it was maybe the grumble of eliott's words, or the way his shoulders were hanging down, or the way the circles underneath his eyes were somehow even darker than before, that idriss and sofiane didn't complain.

eliott's waiting for the sun to loose the strain in his muscles when there's a whoosh behind him, and a body plops down loudly somewhere near him. there's a cause, an effect, and eliott opens one eye, peering at the cause. and then - of course, just the person he wants to see right now.

"hi," eliott shuts his eye close quicker than he he opened it, feigning sleep for the said cause to leave him alone. there's a flurry in his stomach, a certain knot in his chest, before his foot is being nudged by another, "if you think your facade is working then you're highly mistaken."

the sigh which forces past eliott's lips is not voluntary. it's powered by his fatigue and something other he's feeling strongly for the other person. he opens his eyes, fixing lucas with the dirtiest glare he can force his aching eyes to make.

"hello lucas," his tone isn't cold, it's warm and sweet and it's partly due to the flurry in his stomach, and partly because lucas is sitting in front of him.

a smile is forever etched on the lips which kissed eliott not too long ago, when he thinks about it. and the same eyes he'd associate with the grin are peering up at him in joy. lucas scoots closer, till his feet rest where eliott has crossed his legs, and eliott can see swirls of gold somewhere between the two.

"it's nice seeing you here," lucas says, and it surprises eliott for a moment. his senses click in slow, his brain wakes from his nap even slower. so this means lucas remembers him. eliott can rule out one possibility safely now.

"you too," eliott offers, but then he sees something behind lucas's shoulder. a head- idriss's head, body hidden behind the garbage truck. and then eliott sees idriss's panicked look when he realizes eliott has caught him. with a wave, idriss scurries away.

lucas is watching the scene bemused when eliott looks back at him. his hands are clammy for no reason, and his heart is again beating to dubstep for no reason. and eliott realises, with a beat he was playing in his room earlier, he's nervous.

for an apparent reason.

"so," eliott starts, awkward and jittery nerves racking his body, "how have you been?"

it's been almost a month since eliott saw first and last of lucas. since the new year's eve party; since they agre-

"good," lucas says, "good." and it's an end, a start, eliott can't be sure, and neither is lucas, for the way home stumbles over his words, "listen i-" he huffs, averting his eyes to the ground, "i'm sorry i didn't call."

and eliott isn't expecting that. not in a million years. his preferred strategy is to ignore stuff, act like nothing happened, but then, more often than not, the tiny snowflake he has ignored has turned to this giant snowball rolling down the hill, ready to crush everything in its wake. and right now, that snowball is everything which happened that night.

"i just assumed you forgot. you did drink quite a lot," eliott was a hundred percent sure lucas forgot all about the stunt he had pulled when he woke up the following morning, the only reason which sounded legit to his ears as to how there was no text or call waiting on eliott's phone in the morning confirming the breakfast like lucas had suggested.

he wasn't disappointed. he isn't disappointed. it isn't as if he was really invested in that idea.

lucas rolls his eyes, that smile on his face again, "shut up," he mutters, but then he's fixing eliott with a look, the light shines in his eyes, "none of that happened, i just- i chickened out. and you had my number, right? why didn't you call?"

and that's an answer that will probably be displayed on his grave, "i thought that even if you did remember, you just didn't want anything to do with me."

it's funny, and it's sad and it's also surprising the way lucas's blue eyes widen ever so slightly. he gapes at eliott, his forehead forming lines of fristration, "what?"

eliott shrugs lightly. it's the truth. everyone gets tired of him pretty easily. sofiane and idriss are on their way. and it seemed fitting to think then that lucas also did.

eliott doesn't voice that out. 

"eliott," lucas starts, pausing to make sure eliott is listening to him, "fuck- i never thought you'd think that."

and the way lucas says _you_ makes eliott want to question what he means by that. but lucas continues, "have you really seen yourself?! i mean - doesn't matter what i mean. but i wasn't lying that night of the party when i said i chose the right partner, even if the plan never got implemented. and it was not just based on your looks, eliott. from what i've heard of you, i'm sure you're a pretty great person."

and eliott's feeling a lot of things. there's something akin to embarrassment, with the way his cheeks are heating up. there's part validation, part appreciation for lucas. eliott smiles, blood all to his cheeks, probably he's resembling a tomato, "what have you heard of me?"

there's a cheeky glint to lucas's eyes, and a playful tint to the way he tilts his neck to one side. a look of concentration pulls on his face when he closes his eyes, "everything i've heard is from idriss or imane, or overhearing their conversation," he grins apologetically, eliott laughs, "but i know you're into art, and that you study art. you're also a terrible cook, and an emotional drunk."

lucas pauses as eliott shakes his head, a small smile sneaking its way onto eliott's lips, "so you make your assumption based on that?"

lucas laughs, landing a hand on eliott's shoulder, "no idiot! you helped me fool my ex, remember? you didn't even know me, yet you went along with me. so i'm making my assumption based on my experience."

there are little crinkles forming along lucas's eyes. eliott feels less of a mess now, more at ease with the air around the both. lucas looks down at the ground for decidedly a second, before he looks up at eliott again.

there's a pause, a beat before lucas says, "i need to ask you something though. what do you feel about relaunching the fake dating idea?"

lucas has eyes. two beautiful eyes. he's got a nice smile. and a brain set on giving eliott a stroke. eliott - he's got eyes too, and definitely a smile, but what he has and lucas doesn't is a disastrous heart with no brain to look after it.

"so what are the rules?"

  
ten minutes pass, and lucas and him have come up with all the rules they can think of on a piece of paper found all crumpled in lucas's pocket, and a pen found in eliott's jacket. there's a rule on how they'll go on at least a date per week; one about one of them staying the night at the other's house; and there's one about how eliott won't cook them any meals.

oh, and of course, there's also the most important rule (lucas wrote 'imp' before it) that they'll never tell anyone about their agreement.

the sun is starting to get low, their shadows turning longer, when lucas sighs, rubbing a hand over his eyes, "i can't tell you how many nights i've stayed in just so i could avoid benjamin."

eliott shakes his head at lucas, peering through his eyelashes, "you have?"

"yes," lucas groans, "i didn't have you to shoo him away. so i stayed in and learnt every dialogue of brooklyn nine nine by heart."

eliott's confused, "what?"

and it's the wrong thing to say, the wrong wire to pull, because lucas is straightening his back in alarm, eyes wide and looking quite offended, "tell me you didn't say you don't know what brooklyn nine nine is."

"i don't." eliott shrugs, now watching lucas carefully, "i mean, should i -"

"yes!" lucas squeals, hands grabbing the folded paper having all the rules from eliott's hands. hurriedly he clicks at the pen, muttering under his breath incoherently. eliott watches on, amused.

"you've committed an atrocity," lucas says, handing the paper back to eliott. he looks down, seeing a small arrow underneath all the ten rules they wrote down first, and the words 'make eliott watch brooklyn nine nine' next to it. eliott raises his eyebrow, "is this important too?"

lucas snatches it back, adding a 'v.imp' before turning it towards eliott. "now if you agree, you can sign this."

with a roll of his eyes from eliott and a small chuckle from lucas, they put their names underneath the rules. it's like signing a contact, a real childish, foolish and unofficial contract that eliott hopes is good for him.

"c'mon now, fake boyfriend," lucas says standing up and giving eliott his hand, "you've got some duties to do."

they walk to the small group made by their friends a few meters away with eliott's hand in lucas's. and if idriss almost dies from shock and sofiane momentarily stops talking and stumbles over a rock from the sight bring eliott some joy, he doesn't show it.

  
evening ensues and so does cold. lucas's head rests over eliott's shoulder, his arms wrapped firmly around lucas.

it's been a while since their plan kicked into action, and eliott learnt so much about the people he was set on avoiding - lucas's friends. there's yann, the 'mom-friend' as they called him. arthur is the 'brain' of their group. basile's the one without any brain.

(lucas had said this, and eliott had turned around him, eyes crinkles, lips wide. "what does that make you then?" he had asked, and lucas had let out an offended sound while the rest of them laughed before arthur provided, "he's the baby, and also the troublemaker."

and when lucas whines and yann pokes his cheek, eliott realizes what he was dreading isn't bad at all.)

so now, as they are beginning to leave, eliott zipping up his jacket and lucas wrapping a gray scarf around his neck – eliott notices how it brings out his eyes – lucas turns to eliott, tugging at the sleeve of his jacket, "breakfast date, tomorrow?"

and eliott bends down, nods, "you better not chicken out this time too."

lucas's answering grin is rewarding, "you bet i won't," and when eliott's head dips down enough to cover lucas's lips - his hands around lucas's waist, and lucas's cold hands wrapping around eliott's neck - eliott thinks that maybe this isn't so bad.

(at least kissing lucas isn't. he'll know about the rest when he'll get to it.)

  
"eliott?"

lucas hangs upside down from the couch, his legs rest on the back of the couch, head hanging next to eliott's body. eliott wonders why hasn't he gotten a head rush of blood.

"yes?"

they're hanging together at eliott's apartment, or as their friends think, they're on a study date. idriss and sofiane aren't home, miraculously. lucas brought his schoolwork with him, which he finished in thirty minutes after complaining for an hour about how difficult the work was. eliott finished an essay which is due in two days during the meantime.

"do you remember when we first met and i told you about overhearing about your breakup?" eliott nods then, turning his face to lucas, guessing where this seems to be going, "can i ask you about it?"

his eyes are wide, and eliott seems to give in to them. eliott clears his throat. he hasn't told this story in months. idriss and sofiane knew, since they were in the next room and lucille and him weren't too quiet either. 

"lucille- that's my ex- we were together for six years, you know?" he starts, watching lucas take in his words, "but somewhere along the way, being with her became more of an obligation, something which started exhausting me. and no relationship should be about that. i just realized probably a bit too late that we weren't good for each other. so in the end, when lucille didn't get where i was coming from, i ended up saying some shit, and she ended up saying some too, which brings me here, heartbroken."

eliott chuckles, albeit a bit humourlessly. lucas keeps on watching him, a dip to his brows, a search in his eyes. eliott realizes (like he does, a bit too late) that the conversation needs to be steered.

"what about you and benjamin?" eliott says next, not liking the way lucas blinks after.

"he cheated on me," lucas pans with a shrug as if he's telling eliott the weather, "and you know the rest."

it's funny, eliott thinks, when lucas springs up just as eliott mentions brooklyn nine nine, and the weight over his shoulder dissipates. the conversation lays forgotten as they surround themselves in laughter over the infamous 'my wife was murdered by a man in a yellow sweater' scene on the screen of eliott's laptop, and soon after they're watching jake peralta fall for amy santiago on a rooftop of a building eliott doesn't know. (only that jake doesn't know it yet.)

and he's learnt a lot more things about lucas. from their breakfast hangout (date for the rest) to now, he's learnt that lucas goes mad when someone touches his ears (they're ticklish) and that the sound of nails on paper makes him go apeshit crazy (he's sensitive to that sound) and that he's a heavy sleeper (he slept through ten calls from eliott.)

eliott feels a head settle on his shoulder, a sigh brushing past lips. "eliott," lucas's sleepy voice says, "you're a pretty good fake boyfriend."

eliott chuckles, resting his head over lucas's. what a scene that might be for anyone to walk in through the door. "you're pretty good too."

and even when sleep steals eliott away, he doesn't miss lucas hiding his smile in the crook of eliott's neck.


	3. part iii

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm so sorry for taking so long for this. this chapter was being a bitch and i still don't think i'm happy with the way it turned out. but i figured i needed to get this away from me before i tore it up to shreds.
> 
> anywhoops, here's eliott and lucas marching onto the mountain of slow burn which i should probably include in the tags now :))
> 
> [ficpost](https://raconxteur.tumblr.com/tagged/fake%20dating%20au)

the bakhellal house is the only place besides his own where eliott can comfortably and definitely come back to after a long day - or, a place where he feels welcomed, thanks to mama and papa bakhellal, who might love him more than their own children, but don't tell them that - he made a promise to mama bakhellal in exchange of her cinnamon and caramel apple rolls, a reason why imane and idriss used to fight every time whenever he visited. the house has never been too small for eliott; even with three small bedrooms, the bakhellals always made sure eliott has a place under their roof, and he always did have when things got all wrong or really out of hand.

eliott has spent probably too many sleepless nights (those he can and cannot count) and perhaps even more nights sleeping throughout weeks on idriss's twin bed, feet in idriss's face, legs cuddled close to idriss's chest. and sometimes, when it got too much, sofiane's snores from the mattress on the floor serving a nice lullaby to doze off to.

eliott's probably the reason the table of four first extended to one for five had another chair fit right in between the chairs reserved for mama and papa bakhellal, which once used to make imane stab at the meat in her plate with so much force eliott started to fear for his neck (and made idriss lock his door at night for good measure) but now makes a smile pull up on imane's face as papa bakhellal chides eliott for not eating anything and as mama bakhellal stresses over how weak eliott looks.

"fleur," she calls eliott, slapping gently idriss on the back of his head when he chuckles at the name. it's been like that for years, her calling eliott little flower, and eliott loves the name and the sentiment behind it. but idriss still finds it funny (and though idriss will never say it, imane let loose one time it's because he's envious that their mother never called him any pet names) and eliott being the bigger person, never minds. 

mama bakhellal sets down the tray wafting with the scent of cinnamon and caramel, and eliott dives down and grabs a roll for himself, "you've visited after weeks. i asked idriss to bring sofiane and you with him to the dinner on the new years eve, but he bunked the dinner along with his sister."

now eliott cannot say idriss ever mentioned said dinner. he'd have remembered for he never says no to them, probably because they are the only source of the homey feeling he gets surrounded by his self made family. eliott looks from mama's beaming face over to idriss who's hiding his face behind a glass of water, and as time ticks slowly and the cells of eliott's brain come to life and start doing the work they're supposed to do, eliott heaves in a breath, tries to hold in all the insults making their way for idriss.

that fucker. just wait, eliott will get him back for that.

idriss shoots him a look, grinning a lot sheepishly, looking as if he's just smashed eliott's window and is now waiting for eliott to explode like a balloon. but that ain't happening.

eliott forces a tight smile on his face, and all of his muscles - even those not involved in that action - protest in response, "oh that was my bad," idriss's ears perk up as eliott says this. sofiane chokes on air and muffles his cough when imane looks over. eliott feels a flare of happiness in his stomach, "i was having a bad time with......" eliott gulps down his words with the water in front of him, looking at the woman sitting beside him apologetically. she places a hand on his cheek, caressing lightly, eyes soft like clouds and clear like a day.

"i'm here too, mama," eliott hears idriss's voice breaking the moment. the flare in eliott dies as if cold water has been poured over a flame, "you never show me any affection."

idriss's full on pouting now, imane's rolling her eyes, slapping the back of idriss's head, "that's because you're an idiot."

eliott chuckles as idriss rubs the back of his head, glaring at imane. mama bakhellal smiles at her children nitpicking at each other, with imane criticising idriss's brain (or lack thereof) and idriss delivering a blow to imane's social life (or lack thereof).

"i do have a social life, thank you," imane says, digging holes in idriss's skull through her eyes, "i just choose not to go to every other party like you three."

she points a finger at the three of them, and eliott bites his lip to hold in his smile. as far as he knows, imane has showed up to every other party he has gone to with idriss, and he also knows idriss is thinking the same thing and is probably beginning to list down every such incident, but their mother is standing up, squeezing eliott's shoulder as a supportive gesture in the way.

"that's enough, you two. now idriss, help me with the dishes." papa bakhellal says, and when eliott gets up, holding his place, mama bakhellal takes them from him, "leave them to idriss, fleur. you and sofiane can join me and imane, we're going to watch some tv."

eliott looks over his shoulder where sofiane's about to faint. idriss is picking up the plates while not-so-subtly shooting daggers at eliott, too busy trying to kill eliott with his eyes to notice the dreamy look which has now taken a home on sofiane's face. idriss's glares remind him of those imane used to throw at him whenever he'd saunter in after idriss when they were kids. it'd always make him feel like an intruder, but as the time passed, and as imane and him grew closer, the glares finally stopped.

and that's why, even though idriss has the same deathly look in his eyes like imane's too many years ago, it doesn't feel threatening.

eliott smiles at idriss, probably much sweeter than the situation called for. and it has idriss raising his middle finger in reply, mumbling incoherently, and sending him and sofiane into a fit of laughter.

  
it's a night like this where eliott doesn't have to rely on a couple joints to feel airy and light - like the feeling walking over on soft clouds would bring him - as he trips through the orange street and still air with idriss and sofiane in tow. idriss's walking ahead of the two, answering every call made his way with silence; supposedly using the deranged method to emphasise just how mad he is at the two boys walking behind him for leaving him alone with the dishes (and for taking up his place alongside his mother and sister).

"the movie, though," sofiane sighs, still mulling over the movie eliott and him watched with imane and mama bakhellal. it was some old black and white movie which ended quite dramatically, with the hero saving his mistress and _not_ his wife. sofiane was still angry over this.

eliott slings an arm over sofiane's shoulder as they both try to catch up with idriss's agonizingly fast pace. he shoots both of them a glare which registers in eliott's mind as something like envy, and anger, and many other things. it makes eliott laugh, and he stops idriss from moving by grabbing on to his arm.

"hey," eliott drags out the syllable for as long as he could to get idriss to look at him. it works, and idriss stops in his tracks, "you're being a brat, you know that?"

sofiane muffles his laugh behind eliott, and it has idriss directing that annoyed look to the boy now taking refuge behind eliott's tall shoulders.

"i'm not!" idriss bites back, just as a brat would. soon realization is pulling up at his face, and he's rolling his eyes in irritation, "i'm not talking to any of you for leaving me with the dishes."

eliott rolls his eyes as they fall into step again, rounding a corner to the block their apartment building is at, "if anything, i should be the one to not talk to any of you! why didn't you tell me about that dinner?"

idriss's finger freezes over the button on the elevator, back turned to eliott. from behind him, sofiane draws in a sharp breath before coming to stand besides idriss as he turns to look at eliott.

"because then you wouldn't have agreed to come to the party. man, we love you and all, but the compartment upstairs in you can be so damn thick sometimes," idriss rushes, eyes set determinedly on the ground. eliott had made sense of this as much then. still, he raised an eyebrow when the three pile onto the elevator, and sofiane presses the button of their floor. 

"alright. so you're saying a party at someone's we don't even hang with was more important than dinner at your parents'?"

sofiane turns to eliott, shoulders raised, "it would have meddled with our plan to get you to meet-"

idriss takes that moment to stomp on sofiane's foot, not even trying to be subtle about it. sofiane lets out a small scream, quickly realizing what idriss meant and shutting up his mouth. eliott narrows his eyes, the place between his ribcage burning with curiosity, "get me to meet who?" eliott asks, keeping his eyes trained on sofiane, effectively raising his eyebrow. being the bearer of your friends' embarrassing secrets comes with great responsibility of using them to blackmail the said friend, and eliott is doing just that. sofiane doesn't waste a second to catch up, fear falling over his features like a cloud, and anxiously looking up at idriss who seemed confused.

"get me to meet who, sofiane?" eliott repeats, not taking his eyes off him. he knows idriss is definitely mouthing at sofiane to not tell eliott anything about their said plan. eliott would never betray any of his friends - sofiane knows this too - and even though eliott feels terrible for exploiting sofiane's secrets for his own good, this is something he needs to get his hands on.

"lucas," sofiane says, clamping a hand over his mouth in horror just as the elevator opens to their floor. he shoots a worried look towards idriss, who is now shaking his head, beginning to walk, sofiane following quickly after.

"wait, stop!" eliott takes a minute too long for the whole situation to register in his mind, suddenly remembering the looks he received from idriss when he introduced them both at the party, "that whole thing was a setup?"

"what did you think, dumbass?" is idriss's reply as he unlocks the door to their apartment, "that it was all you and your charms that made you end up with lucas? sofiane and i had been planning to set you up for so long, but you always bailed at the last minute! if we had mentioned the dinner, another one of our plans would have bitten the dust."

idriss falls on the couch with a loud thud, eyes as if challenging eliott on as he stands in the corridor. sofiane comes to pat eliott on the shoulder, joining idriss on the couch afterwards. so it was their plan all along.

eliott doesn't say anything, sighing as he sits across the both on the loveseat, annoyance and irritation flowing like water through his blood. there comes a point when it's all cancelled out by sadness from god knows where, and that's when he looks up, running a hand through his hair. idriss seems to get his turmoil, barely.

"don't fret, eli." he says, rubbing a hand over his knee which was bouncing without eliott's notice, "you and lucas are together now, that's what should matter. and we only meddled for we knew if we left it up to you, you would have taken three light years to even notice the boy, and a few more to actually get together with him. and by that time, our bones would have been test subjects at some palaeontologist's lab."

the laugh eliott forces out bounces against his vocal cords, getting lost somewhere before reaching his own ears. idriss and sofiane leave, not before telling him 'don't overthink.'

as the light dims, eliott finds himself alone with his thoughts. for all the shit he gives his friends for pushing him......you and lucas are together now.....

the laugh, when it comes again, isn't easy. if only they knew.

  
eliott isn't a fan of cafés particularly at the rush hours, when there's a cacophony of ringing bells, angry customers, wailing children and loud students who have had too much caffeine in their systems. in fact, eliott isn't a fan of cafés like these at all, preferring small and hushed places instead of loud ones where there's a lesser chance of him getting a sensory overload.

so he usually avoids these type of places at all costs, sticks to places bearing no harm for his ears, and prefers the quite buildings even if the coffee there tastes like ash, or boiled water, or whatever he might be presented with given the universe's vendetta against him for that particular day.

so it's a shock that eliott finds himself standing in one of those cafés filled more than their capacity allows, struggling through a group of high-schoolers, an old couple taking extremely slow to move, and a few giggling teenage girls stood like a giant ball of ice in his way.

but it isn't a shock how he finds confusion regarding his surroundings brewing up a storm inside him, patience wearing thin, noise reverberating in his ears. there isn't even a place to sit, as far as eliott's height and eyes allow him to see over the crowd, nor is there the person being the reason of the torture eliott has to go through these days.

eliott muffles all of his curses behind his fist as he weaves his way through the fucking crowd. god, no place should be allowed to have this many people, and there should be special rules regarding the noise regulation. fuck, eliott can't help but think, not only is this a potential danger to the ears but also a threat to blood pressure as well as normal functioning of the heart. just the other day he was reading about a person who died in a wedding due to heavy bass from the speaker. fucking hell, why aren't these people mov-

"you made it!"

eliott feels the tension in his body being concentrated to one place- the little circle of arms around his waist from where lucas is holding onto, looking up at him with clear blue eyes and lips in a small tentative smile. the moment of relief which follows is cut short by someone bumping into eliott, elbows jamming in his arms. eliott moves, getting his limbs out of the way by wrapping them around lucas's shoulder.

"yes, and i'm a microsecond short of running out of here."

lucas grins, teeth on full display. he's in his burgundy shirt with the cafe's logo on the left of his chest. eliott remembers when he first saw lucas in it, and how the laugh which had formed didn't have him hesitating. lucas had glared at him, muttering an incoherent "shut up" before rolling his eyes. eliott remembers how the words had tumbled after, how the effortless "you look good. it makes your eyes stand out" had nearly caused him to dig a hole for himself to hide, and how lucas had turned around before eliott could see the flush rising up lucas's neck.

but his ears had been a clear giveaway.

there's a squeeze around eliott's waist. he bends down enough to cause lucas's hair to tickle his chin. lucas stands on his toes, trying (and failing) to reach eliott's ears.

"i'm sorry 'bout this, didn't know it'd be still the rush hour. give me a minute to change, i'll meet you outside."

lucas disappears in the crowd, his short stature serving heaps to hide him from eliott's eyes over the crowd. that's a bit eliott envies short people for; their ability to blend in with the crowd, hence finding it easy to hide from prying eyes, which, as one knowing him might have guessed, eliott's shit at.

so between a couple of pushes, an elbow jamming, and the sight of spilled coffee on the previously shiny (and clean) floor, eliott finds himself out in the sun again, the spell of winter about to fade away as march passes.

"hey," it's lucas again, this time without arms around eliott's waist or his hair in eliott's face. something in eliott sings a little when lucas smiles up at him, this time in a grey sweater swallowing him completely, a little cursive "l" now woven into the place the hideous yellow logo usually sits at. lucas catches eliott taking in the huge sweater, rolls his eyes (once again) and crosses his arms over his chest.

"come on," lucas sighs, "spit it out."

eliott bites his lower lip in a (failed) attempt to reign in his smile at how ridiculous lucas absolutely looks, "i'm not thinking anything."

lucas raises his eyebrows, "really?"

eliott nods, trying to look solemn and serious, but his smile (rather, the look in his eyes, if you ask the other party) must give him away. lucas starts walking in the opposite direction eliott came from, and the brainless humongous idiot starts following him.

"i don't know why, but i really don't believe you."

"have you seen this face?" eliott asks when lucas looks over his shoulder, eyes crossed, as eliott manages his best innocent look, "how can you not believe it?"

lucas shakes his head, mumbling something too incoherent for eliott's liking, and quickens his pace. eliott rushes, latching onto lucas arm, too immersed to actually note his surrounding, "what was that?"

lucas, when he turns, looks anywhere but at him, "nothing."

"nothing?"

"nothing."

"noth-"

"yes, nothing!" lucas nearly bellows, eyes wide as they settle over eliott. there's a particular rush in lucas's eyes when eliott searches them. lucas drops his head down, turns, and wrenches his hand out of eliott's hold, "now would you please drop that?"

and eliott doesn't know why something silly (for him) should get to lucas like it has. he doesn't know why lucas seems so put off, or why a silly banter (he supposed) has turned this serious in a matter of seconds. 

so eliott shrugs, bringing his hand to his side and burying them in the pockets of his jeans. lucas stands with his back turned to eliott. there's a heave in his shoulders, a deep inhale, and out comes a sigh which even eliott can hear. finally, lucas turns around.

"i'm sorry," he says, though eliott will admit he sounds anything but. and it has something to do with the way there's a tightness to his voice, and how his eyes fix themselves on a spot on eliott's forehead, never once meeting his own, "i- work was kind of stressful."

eliott doesn't get a lot of things, but the one part he gets is that lucas doesn't - or shouldn't - have to explain anything to him. this arrangement that they have - this whole ordeal of fake dating - was lucas's idea, sure, but eliott knows how stressful it can be, and can only imagine lucas going through the same agony.

and being around eliott, trying to pull off being in a relation ship with eliott - just eliott in general - must be adding heaps to the already present stress and tiredness.

eliott knows this. he understands this.

so he shrugs, smiles - even though it feels a bit forced - and brings his hands together, fingers closing around one another as his arms fall limply at his side, "it's okay," he says, "you don't have to explain anything," he says, swallowing the last bit of words, eyes finding lucas's when they move from the spot on his forehead to down, down until finally meeting eliott's.

"yeah," there's something to lucas's voice that wasn't there before. happiness, eliott guesses, or just relief. there's a smile crawling up to his face, confusing eliott for a moment, before he's winking (terribly) and saying what eliott left unsaid.

"it's not like this is a real relationship, anyway."

lucas laughs freely, eyes reduced to slits one may keep open to let light in. eliott laughs along.

a wet finger glides across his cheek, tickling the skin it finds there. eliott shivers under the touch, and lucas places a hand on his shoulder to still him.

"stop moving! you're gonna ruin the masterpiece."

eliott rolls his eyes, forcing his muscles to stay put as another slick of finger follows just a little below the first one. 

"it's cold," he says like a petulant child, "and it tickles."

lucas chuckles, leaning back from eliott to investigate the 'masterpiece' on eliott's cheek. the dim bedroom lighting serves little to bring out the look in lucas's eyes, but eliott still catches a glimmer. it's only for a second that eliott's freed of the torture before lucas is placing his clean hand on eliott's face, turning it so his other cheek is towards lucas.

"lucas," he whines, watching lucas dip his finger in the paint bottle that has seen much better days, "you only have to paint two lines on each cheek. why are you taking so long?"

lucas places his (clean) hand on eliott's mouth, effectively shutting him up. 

"hush now, dummy. you can't rush art."

eliott is better, but the brainless compartment in his skull thinks better, causing him to open his lips just a little, tongue touching the inside of lucas's hand. lucas squeals, backing away from eliott with his hand raised, a look supporting his face as if he's just touched poop.

"eliott, you idiot," lucas pauses as if to congratulate himself on that rhyme, eyes gleaming with glee. eliott giggles, back resting against the head rest, "stop spreading your fluids all over my hand."

"and that, people of the earth, was the most innocent thing you would ever hear."

eliott startles at the sound, lucas jumps ten feet in air. idriss pops his head inside the door, hands covering his eyes. eliott looks at lucas, who has amusement written on all of his face, bottom lip pulled between his teeth as he tries to hold in his smile. 

"are you guys good or do you need more time?"

eliott turns to idriss, who's still holding a hand over his eyes, now standing partly in the doorway. he decides he feels much too good to feel embarrassed.

"take your hands off your eyes, idriss," eliott says, eyeing lucas as he re-dips his already paint covered finger in the bottle, "we weren't doing anything." and he supposes he shouldn't have said that, should have went along, should have given idriss material to later tell the guys what he walked in upon, but whatever. as eliott said, he feels too good to worry about that stuff right now.

with faux hesitation, eliott removes one finger from his eyes, peeking a little before removing his hands. he takes a look at eliott sitting cross-legged at the bed, lucas leaning over him with a finger dipped in paint, two lines of said paint on eliott's cheek. "then why were there talks about eliott getting his fluids on lucas's hand?"

and that is definitely all on lucas. eliott looks over to him, and finds him already staring back, the blue of his eyes pretty and clear. whatever.

"it's his fault," lucas says, wrapping an arm around eliott's neck, fingers grazing the skin they find there, slowly moving up to entangle in the hair at the back of his neck. eliott makes a sound of indignation, making no effort to correct lucas. instead he closes his eyes, doesn't fight the calm sweeping over him. lucas doesn't elaborate further, and eliott finds himself leaning into the touch, falling into the place lucas's neck meets his shoulder, nuzzling his face there. idriss must be looking at them incredulously, but like eliott said, it's whatever.

"that still doesn't explain anything, but okay." eliott opens his eyes to find idriss looking at him with a look nothing short of intense and somewhat....proud? eliott can't be sure, but there's definitely something there which irks him, "we're leaving in ten, so you two better be out there by then."

eliott closes his eyes shut, not in the mood to deal with the way idriss keeps looking at him, like the way he did when eliott managed to cook an omelette the first time, or when the game controller wasn't working and eliott was in a mood and hurled it across the room at the wall, only to have it working again. it's like telling him that he achieved a great deal or something.

"eliott," lucas says, breaking him out. eliott sits up and opens his eyes to find idriss gone . he turns to lucas, his eyes soft and clear and pretty and. whatever, "please turn the other cheek. i need to paint it too."

eliott snorts, catching the reference. "really, lucas?"

lucas nods, "it was right there, you can't blame me. now, turn the face cheek, not the butt one."

and as lucas chuckles, eliott laughs along too; truly this time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a couple of notes:
> 
> \- the film sofiane's hung up on is some fifty-sixty years old bollywood movie i've forgotten the name of which my grandmother made me watch. what happens is when the wife finds out about the mistress, she drives both of them over a cliff into the river and the husband finds out and somehow, in the end. walks out of the river with the mistress in his arms. a dramatique brilliance.
> 
> \- a light year is the distance light covers in a year. it's approximately equal to 9.461×10^15 meters.
> 
> \- the person dying due to loud music from the speakers is actually true. i can't find the article but it happened somewhere in my country
> 
> \- lucas's "turn the other cheek" reference was from b99 when jake says something like "we should turn the other cheek, which i recently leaned was about faces and not butts." (i'm too tired to search the dialogue rn. excuse me if it's wrong)
> 
> next part hopefully in 7 or 8 days (that's it if the chapter -or skam fr, if i survive the first one - hasn't killed me off by then)
> 
> tumblr: @raconxteur


	4. part iv.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> remember when i said i'll be back in a week? neither do i 😶
> 
> this was the only good outcome of staying locked up in home. provided me enough time to tackle this monster of a chapter. hope i won't disappoint :))

eliott isn’t up to activities involving loudness and crowd, as one might have guessed regarding his hatred for loud cafes or his brilliant attendance (or lack thereof) at parties or how, as the two fuckers haven’t failed to mention, it’s idriss’s sheer strength and sofiane’s force of character dragging eliott by his hair to the (very few) parties he’s been to.

and that, surprisingly, is revolutionary in itself. for lucas turns his neck sharply towards eliott, making him fear for the safety of lucas’s hyoid bone. idriss sits in the front, chatting nonsense meant to embarrass eliott further in front of lucas. the backseat of the uber smells of stale cigarettes; a bit too crammed up for eliott’s liking, with sofiane on the left, him on the far right and lucas partly on top of him in the middle.

it’s because of their spacing, eliott tells himself, that he feels this hot under lucas’s burning gaze.

“what?” he mumbles. idriss stops his blabbering, training his ears on the both like a cat probably would. the corner of lucas’s lips lifts up slightly, warmly, and there’s a frizzle in air, something burns inside eliott’s stomach. probably idriss’s horrendous cereal. lucas does not move his eyes. eliott catches the color changing in them through the haze of passing streetlights; a bit of blue with the washing warmth of the orange before turning black in the dark again.

“what?” eliott asks, a bit louder, a bit bolder.

“nothing,” lucas replies, eyes wavering away from his face for a moment before they catch them again. “nothing, it’s- just how long does it normally take before you make a run out of the parties you’ve been to?”

and it’s just _that_ – how idriss and sofiane chuckle at the absolute hilarity in lucas’s comment. eliott scoffs, shaking his head and opting to look out the window. so _what if_ eliott left a couple of parties twenty minutes after his arrival. and besides, lucas (and none of the two nincompoops) have any business deciding what eliott does or does not concern himself with.

idriss is saying something when eliott focuses his lack of brain back into his skull, “he’s always running away, whether from places or-“ idriss cuts himself off, and eliott finds himself mildly curious to hear what idriss was going to say. _running away_. huh. eliott genuinely wonder what it is that he keeps running away from. “but anyways, now that you’re here, lucas, i hope he’ll atleast stay half an hour before bouncing.”

eliott feels idriss peering at him through the rearview mirror, feels nothing but sincerity in his comment. eliott feels lucas’s weight on him; a gentel press of legs on his, a body turning and falling in on him. it’s like he’s being reminded to step into the role he literally signed up for. and that’s what lucas’s doing, asking him to wrap the blanket of the boyfriend that’s currently falling from his shoulders.

eliott’s arm comes to rest around lucas’s back, hand enclosing his shoulder in a gentle but firm hold. he leans his neck down just a bit, pressing a light kiss over the untamed hair on lucas’s head. he waits a moment, before leaning back and watching as lucas gapes up at him.

“don’t worry,” he says, voice low and hushed, somehow forgetting those he’s making a show for, “ _for you_ , i’ll stay an hour.”

and when lucas hides his face in the crook of eliott’s neck - and when the rest of the world seeps back into his head like a distant but welcomed melody – the place on his skin meeting the breaths lucas exhales isn’t the only part of him feeling like it’s been set afire.

  
“emma throws killer parties,” lucas’s voice pulls him out of a weird day (or night, considering it’s pretty dark. there’s a couple stars above him; a particularly beautiful north star he just saw a minute ago. the night’s a bit chilly, dried paint hard and stuffy on the apple of his cheeks) dream he was having; something weird about yellow and blue mixing in a swirl of indistinguishable mess. eliott looks down at lucas, the wind having messed up the hair set atop of lucas’s head. (although, eliott would like to say, it isn’t the wind’s fault at all. there’s nothing to blame for the way lucas’s hair doesn’t seem to rest. nor is there anything to blame for the way eliott wants to run his hand through them.)

they’re standing outside of the house, waiting for idriss and sofiane who have wandered off to buy more alcohol. the fence is decorated with pretty fairy lights and surrounded in a haze of white smoke probably from the joints eliott can see being passed around in the small group of people next to them. eliott remembers this house as a faint memory tucked inside a niche in his mind, strengthened by the small boy standing next to him.

“there’s this thing,” lucas continues, eyes wide and lips pulled in a smile too bright for the night, “a running joke between the group. it’s that a curse, probably, which follows emma around. for at every party that she has thrown, something bad always goes down.” lucas chuckles lightly, smiling up at eliott.

eliott grins, the memory hitting at him in full force, “oh? like what?”  
lucas gains a sparkle, a light, “so this one time when we were in our first year in high school and emma was still with yann, there was kind of an eating competition. some of the people ended up with food poisoning since the food was expired. and in another party, there was a cat fight between two groups which got really out of hand, and soon everyone was either pulling someone’s hair or scratching another’s face. it was epic.”

eliott laughs when lucas sighs dramatically, as if he won’t ever get to see something as amazing as that ever again. eliott turns to him, “and did you get caught in it too?”

lucas makes a sound which is part surprise and part indignation, “no dummy. basile got his shirt ripped and arthur ended up with a nail scratch barely missing his eye and continuing to the bottom of his cheek. i would have been torn to shreds if i had taken part.”

“then what did you do?”

lucas grins, eliott’s hunched figure on the fence providing him an opportunity to rest his arm on his shoulder, “i just hung around the circle, shouting ‘fight, fight’, you know, like a cool person.”

it’s probably the way lucas’s voice has now grown artificially huskier, or the smug raise of his eyebrow, which sends eliott into a fit of laughter. the smaller boy only grins, flickering lights reflecting from his face.

 _only lucas,_ eliott tells himself as the ground underneath his feet vibrates with the force of the speakers inside the house, the sound of their laughter dissolving the mumbled music and subduing it to a hush. eliott feels warm, probably too warm for the wind biting at his cheeks, for the fear residing in him. he feels warm. and he feels lucas’s eyes on him, a question swimming in them.

eliott is in the middle of asking lucas what it is when there’s a commotion behind him which can only be described as the chaotic idiots sharing a total of one braincell (and not even using it. it’s the reason eliott gets along so well with them.)

“let’s hurry up,” idriss’s out of breath sofiane heaving behind him, “we took a wrong turn while returning. been walking for hours.”

  
eliott shakes his head. idriss’s so dramatic, quite like another chaotic mess that he knows, “you’ve been gone for twenty-fine minutes only. it hasn’t been that long.”

“still,” idriss huffs out, “walking is walking, which equates unnecessary and tiring and also a total waste of time.”

“that’s what unnecessary means.” eliott pans. lucas giggles next to him, snuggling into him. he raises an arm, tucking lucas in his chest. it’s hard to remember that he’s supposed to be lucas’s boyfriend. it’s hard to remember why. and it’s also fucking hard when he remembers the nature their interaction is based on.

idriss shoots him his middle finger, marching ahead of them and dragging the bags of bottles along with him. imane had made a last minute call while they were still on their way, asking idriss to bring liquor with him since they were close to running out of their supply of alcohol. “ _that’s new”_ lucas had said, turning to eliott, _“emma never runs out of alcohol.”_

later, he’d know, that was the curse following her. or so he thought.

“okay kids,” idriss turns to them as they stand in front of the white door, serving quite a good representation of the famous “house with white picket fence” image he always see in books meant for reading by kids, with parents standing with their adorable children next to it. it depicted a perfect picture of a family. good thing eliott had none. 

“be on your best behavior. i don’t want any of you two embarrassing me.” he points a finger at both eliott and sofiane, before turning to lucas, “i can count on you to keep eliott in his tracks, right?”

and lucas – that little gnome with sunshine in his eyes and the purest smile eliott has ever seen – smiles up at eliott, winking (terribly – and with both of his eyes) before nodding his head in agreement with idriss, “don’t worry about him. i don’t plan on leaving his side, ever.”

and even though it’s a promise born out of the pretense he and lucas have to put on, but eliott cannot help himself be guarded by the faux sense of security it offers; the littlest, almost undetectable promise of “i’m not letting you go” and the quiet, stimulating happiness from “i have someone looking out for me,” even if it is something fleeting - for a small time - something lucas doesn’t mean by heart.

it’s sad for reasons unknown yet, but it’s lifting and bracing eliott all the same.  


eliott’s bent abnormally close to lucas’s ears, pressed tightly at his side in an attempt to stay as far as possible from the mount of bodies drunkenly swaying and bumping into him. the interior’s the same as eliott remembers; hardwood floor with pictures laden walls and windows panning from the ceilings to the floor. there’s a backyard, which eliott hadn’t got the chance to explore previously, and now it’s decorated in lights and ruined by red and white plastic cups, and probably something from those couples hiding behind the bushes and going at it.

idriss and sofiane had scurried off as soon as they had entered, which was now seven minutes ago. idriss hadn’t wasted a moment thrusting a silver can in eliott’s hands which he had dug out from the bags holding the beverages he had bought. it was non-alcoholic, of course, which idriss had felt the need to mention in front of lucas, mush to eliott’s annoyance. but lucas hadn’t asked anything about it, which was odd since he could feel lucas’s eyes drilling holes into his skull, aided by the curiosity which was swimming inside.

“i see yann,” eliott says, speaking as loud as he can over the music. he leads the both towards the small group made by lucas’s friends (they are kind of his friends too, by association) in the farthest corner. eliott knows it’s more or less due to the fight at the party lucas had mentioned earlier, but he’s not complaining. it’s his preferred place to hang in too, away from all the general chaos.

basile lights up like a candle when his eyes fall on eliott. his hair is wild, cheeks pink from the humidity, and –“you’re wasted, basile!! how much have you had to drink?!” lucas shouts, as yann wraps an arm around eliott’s shoulder in greeting, and as he finds himself burning with the feeling once again.

“they said i couldn’t drink more than three cans of vodka in ten minutes. so who was i to refuse the challenge?” basile slurs, drunkenly hanging off to arthur who shakes his head in disdain, rolling his eyes in annoyance but smiling all the same.

“a fucking idiot, that’s who!” yann slaps basile on his back, misjudging the force of his hand and sending basile wobbling forward, despite arthur’s support. eliott sees lucas muffling his laugh, and eliott can’t help his own smile also. he’s just so-

basile shrieks loudly when the speaker starts playing a rhythm totally unknown to eliott’s ears, dragging arthur and yann by their hands, leaving lucas careering towards the wall. eliott doesn’t hold his laugh as lucas smashes his head against the wall, very softly if you ask eliott. but he rubs it as if he’s smashed it against a tonne of bricks.

“if i'm shinin', everybody gonna shine,” eliott hears basile shrieking somewhere behind him, flailing his hands and catching arthur in the stomach. lucas pouts at eliott, hand splayed over his skull and eyes filled with faux pain.

“eliott…” he groans, coming forward to wrap his hands around eliott’s arms, “my head is hurting.”

eliott bites his lips, bending down to lucas’s level like a boyfriend would, kissing his forehead softly. barely a press of lips, airy and light, before eliott pulls away. he smiles at lucas’s wide eyes, unease swimming in his stomach.

fuck – he shouldn’t have done that. he went too far. oh god what would-

“it’s better now,” lucas sighs, now wrapping his hands around eliott’s waist, snuggling his face in his chest. and even though their friends have now been swallowed by the crowd, and there’s no need for eliott to play lucas’s boyfriend. really no reason for him to wrap his own arms around lucas, pulling him tightly to himself. so why he does this is without any cause.

lucas hums softly to the song that eliott hasn’t placed yet. but basile’s emerging from the crowd, yelling at the top of his lungs, wildly dancing to the beat. lucas feels eliott’s confusion as they stand quietly in one corner of the room, away from the crowd, wrapped up in each other. for no reason or need, really.

“he’s just a little bit crazy for lizzo. but like, aren’t we all?” lucas smiles up at him and eliott almost asks _who?_ but then a conversation from not long ago starts crawling into his brain. _dubstep, eliott, is not music. it’s noise, pure, unadulterated noise._

lucas keeps smiling, paint smudged on his cheeks, close to fading. his eyes carry a distinct glimmer which eliott really doesn’t like. there’s a squeeze in his lower half, and he’s reminded of the first time lucas was wrapped around him like this; in a corner of this very house, and surrounded by the same drunk people.

“don’t look at me like that,” eliott gives in. this time - like all the other times when lucas conviced him to watch all of his favourite tv series, listen to the genre of music he likes, and in eneral just conviced eliott to make space for lucas-associated things in his life – eliott does. “i know who lizzo is.”

lucas raises an eyebrow, flickering lights on his face. “somehow i don’t believe that.” there’s another squeeze, another leap. "let’s go get something to drink. my throat is dry.”

and eliott still has that non-alcoholic drink courtesy of idriss to nurse, but he follows lucas to the kitchen. lucas picks up a pitcher which eliott says is bigger than tiny lucas – it doesn’t earn him a slap, nope – and watches as lucas drowns more than half of it in one go.

“whoa, slow down.” eliott laughs as lucas looks up at him, for some reason lookin determined, as if trying to prove a point. eliott shakes his head, taking the pitcher of unknown (probably alcoholic) drink from lucas, “that’s it. i don’t trust you with alcohol.”

lucas supports an offended look on his face, probably reminded of the incident when he quite literally jumped on him. “i’m sorry,” lucas bites back, tone none bit apologetic, eyes sharp and tongue even more so, “idriss left me in charge of you, not the other way around. so i’ll do whatever i want.”

it already seems that lucas is halfway on his way to being completely sloshed, so eliott raises the pitcher of the foul-smelling liquid over his head. lucas lunges for eliott’s arms, hanging on them to reach the drink, even though there’s a million drinks to pick from the shelf eliott’s leaning against. and that’s how he knows that’s lucas is now fully wasted.

“eliott,” lucas whines, jutting out his bottom lip in a pout which is not adorable. (no, eliott didn’t think the opposite). “give it baaackk!!”

lucas’s pupils are wide, that’s how close to eliott he really is. the warmth of the room has rendered a pinkish hue to his cheeks, and eliott feels compelled to place a hand there to see if they’re as warm as eliott feels. but that would mean letting his arms down, and giving in to the not adorable boy currently sulking in front of him, arms now crossed in front of his chest.

“i hate you,” he mutters, retreating. eliott smiles in victory, turning to place the pitcher behind him, away from lucas. his lips are red, pink, too ki- no. NO. eliott isn’t going there. it’s probably the heat and the light getting to his head. he’s not going to think- he CAN’T think about it. not when the cause of his troubles is standing in front of him, under pretty blue light with his pretty blue eyes. and hey- who knew eyes can be so beaut-

“there you guys are!” it’s idriss. it’s idriss with his hand around lucas’s shoulders, hauling the small boy to his chest. wow. eliott’s probably high. his stomach is burning.

“have you been keeping him in check?” idriss ruffles up lucas’s hair. _yes,_ eliott’s done that too. it’s so soft and silky and it smells like bananas. eliott could probably spend a lifetime in there.

lucas shakes his head, “no. this- this giraffe isn’t letting me do anything.” he groans and eliott lets out a sound of disapproval at the same time idriss starts laughing.

“i just stopped you from getting alcohol poisoning – or, waking up with a killer hangover tomorrow. but alright, i won’t stop you anymore. go ahead. drink yourself to oblivion.”

idriss is smiling – not like the smile he puts on when he’s laying down the evil groundwork of his plan. it’s a genuine smile, like he’s sincerely happy. for eliott. it’s parallel to the look idriss had shot him in the uber, when they were on their way to this party. and it’s heightened when lucas lunges for eliott’s arms, squealing like a child who’s been told he can pet the snake, landing a heavy and wet kiss to eliott’s cheek. eliott’s eyes find idriss's, and he completely lets lucas as he opens a can of vodka and drowns it all, burping loudly afterwards.

“ooh that burned,” lucas giggles, all warm and soft as he wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. eliott looks away, weirded out by idriss and the burning in his stomach. everything feels so wrong and out of control. but at the same time, everything in him feels so warm and like it was all out of place all this time. like it has clicked just now.

what, he has no idea.

lucas starts pulling on the hem of eliott’s shirt, jumping on his feet to get eliott’s attention. his hair is wild like his eyes, and eliott has this surreal impulse travelling through each nerve fibre in his body. he rests a hand on lucas's shoulder, stilling him.

"eliott! eliott!! let's dance."

and idriss, whom eliott had completely forgotten until now, comes forward as if to support lucas in his weird fantasy to get eliott moving his limbs in a way which eliott isn't a fan of. but mind you, the reason isn't that he's born with two left feet and doesn't have a least bit of rhythm in his body.

"lucas, no-"

"c'mon eliott!! it's one of my favourite songs!!"

"yeah eliott," idriss grins, now are ting the same, up-to-no-good sparkle which eliott was thinking of earlier. guess he spoke too soon, "go dance with your boyfriend."

and if eliott hadn't been busy plotting his best friend's murder, he'd have totally resisted lucas pulling him onto the dance floor, amidst a circle of sweaty bodies, where eliott's sure to get elbows jamming into his ribs and people steeping onto his toes. if eliott hadn't been distracted by idriss, he sure would have protested. definitely hadn't given in to lucas.

but as it appears, lucas raises both of his arm up in the air, his face bright when he lets out a tarzan-like shriek at the top of his lungs. eliott laughs when lucas attempts to shimmy (and fails) and when he moves his body in a questionable way which has his limbs turning in all the wrong directions, eliott completely loses it.

"what's that supposed to be?" he asks in between laughter which bubbles uncontrollably. lucas pouts up at him, chest moving rapidly to make up for the air he has lost.

"moon walk!" lucas shouts, hands coming to wrap around eliott's wrists which have made a home in the pockets of his jeans. lucas had been enough of an entertainment for him to dance himself.

"you're not dancing," lucas whines, pressing up at eliott's side, hands pulling at his arms, "eliott, dance with me please? let your body lose to the music."

eliott shakes his head, vibrating floor underneath his feet and loud music in his ears; lucas's voice is still as clear as day. "lucas, i can't dance."

"i'll teach you," he says, immediately, like he's thought of every response to every excuse eliott would make, "please eliott. you disagree with everything i say."

eliott's appalled. "i do not!" he pauses, thinking over what he has just said. and even though there's no question that lucas has well passed what would classify as the boundary between sober and drunk, he still lights up at eliott's answer, throwing his head back as he laughs.

eliott sighs, taking his hands out of his pockets and perching them up on lucas's shoulders. lucas's hands stay enclosed on his forearms, fingers warming eliott's skin from where they're wrapped against it.

  
lucas starts swaying slowly, much too slowly for the beat of the music. it's like a quiet footstep against the heavy beating of the drum. eliott smiles at lucas, the action now coming to him naturally.

"does this classify as dancing?"

lucas shrugs, taking his arms so now they're wrapped around eliott's lower waist. they're three footsteps apart from totally hugging, and it is surprising how eliott isn't weirded out by any of this. they're putting a show when there's no need to. funny enough it's now that he feels completely free.

"yeah," lucas breathes, pupils so dilated eliott can see them even in the dim light. he smiles, a finger caressing eliott's back over his shirt. the movement has eliott stepping closer to lucas, so now lucas's forehead rests directly against eliott's chin. he smiles down when lucas does a twirl, fingers holding onto eliott's index finger.

"that song doesn't warrant a twirl, but okay," eliott shrugs, grinning at lucas. his chest is light despite the burning in his stomach. his ears are singing despite of the loud music.

must be the effect of lucas's chuckles; airy and clumsy, like his body.

"that's surprising," eliott stops. no, he freezes. his blood runs cold inside his veins. there's a numbing sensation where his heart is present. his hands are probably suspended in the air. he knows that voice, probably much too well. 

lucas stares up at him, his mind catching up with eliott a bit late due to alcohol slowing his senses down. eliott could feel his confusion as he stares ahead, over lucas's shoulder, onto the cold eyes of someone he's been literally running away from.

"eliott?" lucas squeezes his arms, following his line of vision and looking over his shoulders. his head rests on eliott's chest, where his heart is beating much too slow for the way dread is gripping his neck. just when he thought nothing should go wrong. fucking luck.

"lucille," eliott says, and for the time it takes lucas to process the name in his head and draw the conclusion, lucille's smile is turning into a vile, wicked action which eliott doesn't like. her eyes flit from him to the smaller body wrapped like a vine around eliott's side. eliott's hands rest around lucas's shoulders, pressing him to his side as he stares at lucille. eliott had never needed more support than now.

"i must say i didn't expect to see you here. i mean," she laughs, the voice clear even though there's loud bass reverberating through the walls and the floor into his bones. it also doesn't help that they're situated in a much secluded part of the living room dubbed as the dance floor, with only a few people milling around, "you aren't-or weren't - the type to mingle at all. but i guess that might have changed." she turns to look at lucas instead, smiling, though there's no warmth present in the action whatsoever. she must be standing at least a couple feet away, yet the way she stares at eliott has never felt this chilling before. she looks mad, eliott knows she's angry. and she deserves to be. eliott did hurt her pretty bad.

eliott shakes himself out of the bout of shock enveloping him. he looks at lucas for a minute, his eyes already on him, full of something eliott identifies as understanding. eliott squeezes his shoulder, smiling through pursed lips, before looking at lucille again.

"haven't seen you in a while, lucille," he proposes, hands moving to lucas's hair as his fingers move around the soft stands. lucille never liked when eliott did that. lucas, however, leans into the touch, his eyes closed. lucille directs her glare to lucas, and eliott feels bad for entirely unknown reasons.

"i'd say," lucille grits out. eliott notices her hair has turned even blonder than before, and it's much shorter now. she looks different, and it's like seeing through a different light. which is probably true since now eliott can say he has someone to influence his look on things much differently than before.

"babe," lucas pulls on the hem of eliott's shirt, drawing his attention. babe. eliott feels a chill running up the entire length of his spine, this one more welcoming than before. he hums, looking down at lucas, "can we leave? i'm getting tired."

"you didn't introduce me to him," lucille's turning cold again. and that would have been a mild problem had lucas not stepped forward, leaving eliott devoid of the warmth he was enveloping him with.

"i'm lucas," he says, nonchalantly, drunkenly, "eliott's boyfriend. you're lucille, right? eliott's told me about you."

and eliott doesn't know why lucas sounds this confident all of a sudden. maybe he's just good at faking. or maybe he isn't faking. whatever it is, eliott lets himself believe this once. eliott's boyfriend.

lucille is smiling in that wicked way again when eliott focuses back. lucas's hanging on eliott's arm, and eliott knows the way lucille is looking at them both won't translate well.

"i'm sure he has," lucille bites back, smiling without any humour. it looks like she might leave, but apparently, definitely, the universe isn't on eliott's side, not now or ever. "and lucas, i know i might be the last person you'd want to take advice from, but please listen?" she turns to eliott as she speaks, a stone sinking heavily in his stomach, "eliott has a penchant of ruining everything good in his life. don't let it be you."

eliott's frozen once more. he's always running away. ruining everything- "i'm sorry," lucas's voice pulls him out of his trance. fuck. "but i think you're wrong. he might be a bit dumb sometimes, but i'm sure he won't hurt anyone intentionally. i'm sure he can't hurt anyone."

lucas speaks softly, looking up at eliott. there's a moment eliott forgets he needs oxygen, his lungs burning but his heart fulfilled, everything forgotten for a second.

"yeah i'm sure," there's nothing but sarcasm in lucille's tone, a kind of disbelief and incredulousness as she smiles coldly at lucas, "just be careful."

and she's turning, disappearing into the crowd. something sits heavily inside eliott's stomach, his limbs heavy and chest numb. a million things race through his mind per second. there's a ringing in his ear, a blockage to everything going on outside his body.

"-eliott?" lucas is calling out his name. he looks down at him, startled to see him still there. "let's leave, yeah?"

eliott nods, and they make their way out of the house and into a taxi parked at the opposite side of the road. lucas covers eliott's hand with his own, squeezing a bit to get his attention.

"hey, don't fret eli," he's eli now. first babe and then eli. it feels nice. much better than idriss when he tells him the same thing. there's more to believe in lucas's statement than idriss's. he doesn't know why. "no amount of lucille-induced warnings would ever make me run away from you, remember that!"

lucas is still drunk when eliott smiles. but his heart isn't that heavy anymore.

"wait a bit," lucas giggles, slumping all of his weight on eliott. they're standing in front of lucas's apartment, and the dummy has forgotten where he put his keys.

"i swear to god i put them in my wallet!" he groans, emptying the contents of his wallet onto his hands, albeit a bit clumsily. eliott's busy supporting lucas's weight, hands around his shoulder to make sure he keeps standing still.

"do you have a spare key?" eliott whispers, the night around him compelling him to do so, even if there's no need. lucas turns his neck towards eliott, eyes squinting as if to concentrate. 

"fuck, i don't remember eliott!" lucas whines, resting his head on eliott's shoulder. eliott bites his lip to hold in his smile, at the same time letting out a sigh born out of pure fake annoyance. drunk lucas is annoying, but his cuteness is more powering.

"wait," lucas says, moving around eliott's hand to reach into the pocket of his jeans, "i remember something-"

eliott watches as lucas struggles around the pockets, finally taking out the keys and grinning up at eliott in glee. "see, i'm not a dummy."

"i never said you were," eliott responds, watching with a quiet smile as lucas fumbles around the key hole, forcing the key upside down into the lock. eliott chuckles, squeezing lucas shoulder to tell him to step back.

"shut up you giraffe." lucas bites back, still holding the key wrong. eliott steps forward, one arm around lucas's shoulder and the other coming to cover the one holding the key. his chest meats lucas's back as his lips brush his ears. the smaller boy takes in a breath, not expecting him. eliott focuses on his hands as he turns the key correctly into the slot, watching as lucas stumbles forward, creating some space between their bodies.

eliott gulps down the unease when lucas turns to frown at him, "i could have done that."

"yeah, i can see that."

lucas doesn't drop the frown as he turns around and moves into the apartment. eliott follows, more out of habit than anything else. eliott has been here only a couple of times before since lucas would usually come to his apartment for their (fake) dates. 

kicking off his shoes lucas falls face first onto the couch, his legs dangling off of one corner. eliott chooses the arm rest to sit on, and lucas takes the opportunity to turn on his back, feet falling on eliott's lap.

"i'm so tired," he groans, arm covering his eyes. apart from the little run in with lucille, eliott's evening had gone particularly well, much better than he had expected. he could only imagine what idriss and sofiane's reaction would be when he'd tell them the tale. and he could only imagine what lucas must be feeling.

"lucas," he says quietly, really not expecting a reply. but he does get one when lucas hums, voice muffled by his arm, "i just wanted to thank you for earlier."

lucas pops open one eye, and then the other. soon he's sitting up, hair strewn in every direction imaginable, feet tucked underneath his body, "eliott, you don't need to thank me. i mean, that was the reason for all of this right? i was just fulfilling my role."

oh. "right." eliott swallows thickly, feeling like an idiot all of a sudden. "right."

he doesn't look at lucas, instead looks around at the dark room which is now well drilled into his memory. the burning in his stomach has returned with full force, everything hopeful inside him crushed to smithereens.

"hey," lucas says, hands placed on eliott's arms. they burn. they burn. "that was nothing. lucille. benjamin. you helped me getting benjamin to leave me alone. and i'd do the same for you, no matter how many times."

yeah. lucas was probably returning the favour. there's nothing to this more than that. eliott's so fucking stupid. he forces a laugh. lucas didn't mean anything. that's good. that's excellent, actually. 

"and remember when i told you how something always goes down at emma's parties? that incident with lucille was probably the curse!" lucas jokes, a failed attempt to lighten the mood. eliott isn't worried in the least bit what lucille was doing in the house of a high schooler. it was highly possible that she knows someone. but it was whatever. what currently eating him is the thing lucas said. something bad always happening at emma's parties. they had met at her new years' party, no?

lucas still looks drunk when he stares up at eliott, biting his bottom lip, in question. this thing between them has been going on for two weeks now, and eliott doesn't remember the last time he kissed lucas. and no, he isn't thinking about kissing him.

"what is it?" he asks, eyebrows raised in a question at the way lucas looks, like he needs to say something or else he'll burst. lucas shakes his head, eyes dropping down before catching eliott's once again.

"i just- i realized how wrong i was." he sighs, "before, i thought that everything bad happens at these parties, but i met you at one of these. and meeting you might be the best thing which has ever happened to me."

lucas's still drunk, it's confirmed now. no sober person would be telling the person they're supposed to fake date that. least of all, no one would tell eliott that. the universe doesn't work that way, not for eliott. but still, he feels worry and unease slipping away from him like sand from open fingers. he feels light, happy, warm.

"really?"

lucas bites his lip, though his smile is still showing. it's contagious, and eliott feels a familiar itch in his palm. lucas nods, eyes flitting shyly towards the floor. god. he can be so fucking cute sometimes. 

eliott smiles as he stands, ruffling up lucas's hair in the process. his eyes follow eliott as he takes a few steps back, "i'm glad then." he pauses. lucas may not remember anything tomorrow morning. eliott remembers he has this exact thought before, and he remembers how that played out.

if odds are in his favour, this may have the same outcome. so e holds his tongue, forces the words back into his throat, "i must go now," lucas nods, "sleep well."

and lucas falls asleep as that on the couch, eliott suspects as such when he crosses the street and starts walking on his own to the bus stop, lucas's sleepy face pouting up at him, eyelids heavy with sleep and and lips forming a small goodnight.

and it's not later that he might realize (much too late, like everything in his life) the telltale ease in his chest, a sign that nothing good is going to come out of this. but still he lets himself believe, a final time this once.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so isolation has me thinking of writing kind of a spin-off to this universe. same characters, same major plot point (lucas being cheated on) but different circumstances in which he deals with it. say if i do write it, would anyone be willing to read it?
> 
> everything aside, please remember to take care of yourself folks. and don't forget to wah your hands :))

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments are highly appreciated :))


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